Sunday, March 2, 2008

Humor

Know any great offering jokes? Click the "COMMENTS" tab below and share your joke!

7 comments:

Brent said...

From www.stantoler.com:


TOP TEN
Signs It’s Time to Increase Your Giving

10. The church organist has a goldfish bowl for tips.

9. Parking meters have been installed in the church parking lot.

8. There’s a cover charge at the door.

7. Pews in the front are $1; pews in the back are $5.

6. The choir is wearing bathrobes.

5. There’s a drawing at the end of every service.

4. Offering plates have been replaced with #2 wash tubs.

3. The pastor’s wife is wearing a dress made from feed sacks.

2. The candlelight service is no longer for effect.

1. This year’s work and witness trip is in Las Vegas.

Brent said...

Many of you know one of my favorite offering introductions: "Ladies and Gentlemen, Please stand. Now, reach your arms out forward. Grab the wallet of the person in front of you and give like you've always wanted to give."

A day like that would be worth the $5 back row seat! (see Stan Toler's list above, #7)

Brent Van Hook said...

See below. It's from my good friend Craig Adams. Those Tennessee Nazarenes are a whole lot more liberal than us in South Carolina!!! ha ha. - Pastor Brent
Another idea that hit me this a.m. is to encourage your congregation to play the lottery heavily, all of the while committing to the Lord a 20% tithe on winnings. It's a can't lose. Don't you think?!

Craig Adams

Brent Van Hook said...

Did you see the bumper sticker that read, "Tithe if you love Jesus. Any fool can honk."

Brent said...

"Do yer givin' while yer living' so you'll be knowin' where its goin'"

Brent said...

Definition of LOTTERY = A voluntary tax for people that are bad at math.

Wes said...

I prefer to follow Jacob's example.